In the beginning…. I weighed in at 372.4. I know… I’m a fat ass.
I have decided to start turning my life around. My hairstylist told me I needed to lose some weight because she thinks that I’m going to break her stylist chair. Hilarious, I know. But unless things change, I’m either going to die, get sick, or tip the scales at 400 pounds soon. I’ve never been this fat in my entire life, and I don’t want to be fat anymore. It is time for me to turn back the clock and return to the same shape, if not better shape than I was in the 90′s before it’s too late for me.
There’s a song by one of my favorite bands – Weezer – called ‘The Good Life” Off the Pinkerton album. Every time I hear that song, slightly altered lyrics come to my head, telling me that enough is enough.
I’ve decided to embed the song and have written down the modified lyrics below. Click on the play button to be taken to Weezer’s MySpace page.
I line up in the mirror, and I can’t believe what I see
Tell me who’s that obese dude, staring back at me
Broken, beaten down, can’t even get around
Without an old man’s cane
I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold
Bitter and alone
Excuse the bitching
I shouldn’t complain
I should have no feeling
Cause feeling is pain
As everything I need
Is denied me
And everything I want
Is taken away from me
But who do I got to blame?
Nobody but me
And I don’t wanna be fat man anymore
It’s been a year or twelve since I was out on the floor
Shaking booty, making sweet love all the night
It’s time I got back to the good life
It’s time I got back, it’s time I got back
And I don’t even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah!
Screw this crap, I’ve had it!
I ain’t no Mr. Cool
I’m a pig, I’m a slob
So excuse me if I drool
I ain’t gonna hurt nobody
Ain’t gonna cause a scene
Just need to admit
That I want sugar in my tea
Hear me (hear me) I want sugar in my tea!
I don’t wanna be an fat man anymore
It’s been a year or twelve since I was out on the floor
Shaking booty, making sweet love all the night
It’s time I got back to the good life
It’s time I got back, it’s time I got back
And I don’t even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah!
I wanna go back, I wanna go back
And I don’t even know how I got off the track
It’s time I got back, it’s time I got back
And I don’t even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah!
And I don’t wanna be an fat man anymore
It’s been a year or twelve since I was out on the floor
Shaking booty, making sweet love all the night
It’s time I got back to the good life
It’s time I got back, it’s time I got back
And I don’t even know how I got off the track
It’s time I got back, it’s time I got back
And I don’t even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back (I wanna go back)
Yes, true believers, I’m going to attempt to keep up with the contestants of the Biggest Loser. Right now I am 3 weeks behind the show when I start in the morning. I will go by that.
During this process I will also attempt to discover the underpinnings as to why I have done this to myself. I have worked out a lot of the issues that I had with my parents, have forgiven them, and am generally more happy than I was before the economy took a dive. But the emotional damage was done. It is up to me to live life instead of the BDD, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, that has taken over my life. I realized I hid behind the weight gain and only come out when I have to. Let’s face it. Since I was a fat child and finally lost the weight in my early 20′s, and regained the weight after my injury, a lifetime of fat jokes and insults directed at me, rejection, parental abuse, and the way society shuns the overweight takes a toll. It took me 41 years to realize the problems I’ve had, and the things that I have done to myself, just to cope. Now it’s time for the inner me to come out, damn it!
Enough rambling. I’ve gotta get this project started.